My husband and I have been goal-setters now for 10 years. It started before we were married when I was living in London in 2002. He and I were typing on AIM late one night for him, early one morning for me and he asked me, “Where do you see yourself teaching?” He was in the middle of applying to grad schools and had gotten accepted into the Manhattan School of Music. His real desire, though, was to go to USC where they had their famous Scoring for Motion Pictures and Television program. He hadn’t heard back from them yet.
So here we were, trying to figure out what came next even as there were so many unknowns. What is it about the brazenness of youth (we were 21) that says planning ahead before anything becomes remotely established is ok? I don’t know, but we were planning! I was imagining him at the Manhattan School, me with a music teaching gig on Long Island, us commuting back and forth on the LIRR to see each other, fun fall Manhattan nights at great dive restaurants and jazz clubs.
Well.
April came and he was accepted to USC. There was not a doubt in his mind where he would go. And who he would ask to go with him. To California. 3000 miles away from the fun Manhattan vision.
So when he said to me, “Where do you see yourself teaching?” I typed back what I really meant: “I can teach anywhere.”
And so, just a few short months later, with my heart-city, London, behind me and after buying a car, and finding a job in Los Angeles, and finding an apartment in Los Angeles and then driving across the country, I figured out that when you set out to do something, you can do it. The goal-setting/goal-reaching process became a part of our story.
For ten years, we have done it all different ways. We’ve done specific, bullet point goals for the whole year, we’ve done casting vision for the whole year, we’ve done Words for the Year (see this but if you read that first one, you must also read this), individual goal setting, setting goals together, for our family…and all of these different ways of achieving the things we desired has been effective for us. Of course, we haven’t always reached each goal. As a matter of fact, one time, we made our goals so easy that they were all done by March! Don’t for a moment think, “wow, they have it all together to achieve all of their yearly goals by March.” No no no. Goals that are too easy are no more than a to-do list. We had to challenge ourselves that year to set goals that were just out of our reach. That way, as we reached to make it happen, some beautiful things came into our grasp.
This year, we’ve found yet another way to look ahead. In this season of rich, full, exhausting, pressing days, we’ve decided to goal set in 3 month increments, or quarterly. We have found that having a new or refreshed focus after three months helps to inspire and motivate us to continue moving forward and keeps us from getting stuck in something that we decided “so long ago.”
Some of the quarterly goals we have already made. For example, there are several financial benchmarks that we already know need to be hit by certain dates. But some of the other quarterly goals we’ll make as each quarter comes along.
For those of you who may not be goal setters, you might be completely glazed over at this point. “What’s the big deal?” you might ask. (And notice that New Year’s Resolutions don’t even make their way into this conversation.) The fact is, we’ve found our lives to be more dynamic when we were on the same page about where we were going.
There are a few examples I can remember when we (usually Mike) reached really high. One was last year. In January of 2012, in our vision for the year, Mike put down that we would live in a house that we had bought. I didn’t believe him. I don’t think I told him that, but I didn’t. Guess what? We’ve been living in that house now for nearly 6 months. Thank goodness he had the courage to dream big! And thank goodness I married him.
If it overwhelms you, start by picking a word or by setting a goal for the end of the week. Involve someone else. Make your goal to serve someone else. See what that does.
I am sure you will be overwhelmed by the outcome.