I’m thinking about that voice again this morning…you know the one. The one that says you’re doing it all wrong, or that you’re not doing enough. You know, that one.
My whole life this voice has followed me, making me feel less than adequate, less than worthy. I can remember hearing from this voice early on in my formative years when I would make silly faces in the mirror and wonder if I was actually silly myself or if people saw me making those faces, would they think I was silly? I remember fighting with this voice through middle and high school when the need to fit in ate at me everyday and every night and I would pray to wake up skinnier. I can remember pushing this voice away through college as I struggled to identify myself in an atmosphere of shifting ground where it seemed no one had any constant on which to hang their souls. It was still there as I moved to a new big city and started a new big job and the voice screamed at me to make wrong choices and to self-destroy. The voice continued to shout at me my worthlessness through my 20s and I really believed it. I raced and reached and puffed-up and pleased just to shut up the voice.
This morning, though, I am in a new place about this voice.
I am coming to understand that this voice is separate from who I actually am. The voice is not me. I know who the voice is as well as I know whose Voice I should be focused on. If this distinction is strong, I can quiet the shaming voice so much more easily. Since it’s not me, I don’t have to be quiet, but I can push down the voice who doesn’t belong to me, who isn’t me.
I am well aware of the Enemy and that this voice I keep mentioning is really him. I am also aware that Jesus has dominion over the enemy, that he crushes his head. Praise be to God!
The shaming voice will not rule me anymore. I am tuning my ears to hear my Heavenly Father’s voice and that voice is full of grace, full of comfort. I refuse to listen to condemnation anymore. I have been made worthy through Jesus and his is the only voice I need to hear.